It makes a sound, your heart does...

When you’re quiet enough, lost in the day dreaming of missed opportunities, you hear things. When all is quiet and you have a moment to think with regret the things you wished you would’ve done, should’ve done, could’ve done... when you think of all that might have been and you think with longing for the things that you thought would happen, but instead that you are still waiting for…in that moment when all is quiet and you're thinking  on  the memories and dreams…when it’s that quiet, you can hear the sound your heart makes when it breaks. 

Amie Miriello Hey

I let you touch my face

And memories are coming back to me today, as I sit and write about you. There is so much I think about when I remember you; like how I've always hated  it when my face was touched, but I remember your hands on my face, and how I didn’t pull away. I remember my hand in yours and how your fingers fit around mine. I remember your smile and the way your whole face lit up when you talked of flying and music and what it was like to have moments when the voices stopped and you could just be happy. We loved the quiet moments and missed them, the fewer they got.

 I write about you twice a year. On your birthday and every year around this time, because it's Christmas time, and you loved mistletoe and kissing….and I sit as the memories come flooding back, and have to smile at what was. It’s only at these times when I think about all that was good that I am not sad about the time we missed out on, about all the memories that we didn’t have.

You wanted to fly, and you wanted to play music. I wanted to watch all your dreams come true. I wanted to be there when they came true for you.

I don’t like my face being touched, but I never minded it when you held my face in your hands… I’m remembering so much today, as I sit and write about you… you are some of my best memories…

Jr High Excitement

 It is like when I was in middle school. Every Fall, every summer, the night before going to camp with my youth group, I couldn't sleep. I waited to the last minute to pack every time, and I stayed up all night and thought about what that weekend or what that would week would mean to me.. All the excitement boiling up in me would not let me sleep. I'd "over pack" and not even  be the slightest bit tired in the morning when it time to take off, only  when my youth leader turned on Enya, and we started out on our way cuddled up with our friends in my church's 15 passenger vans did I shut my eyes and relax and take a nap before I experienced the time that I've been waiting for.
I'm going home  for the first time in like 11 years. I'm going to visit my friends, see my birth dad and breath in the North Carolina air, and maybe play in the rain, but I'm going home, and I couldn't be more excited. It's the middle of the night, the butt crack of morning, and the sun is going to rise, and I haven't slept.. I'm packed and so ready.. and the excitement is boiling up inside. I'm anxious and over whelmed. This is the house I grew up in , I loved here, I loved it because of my friends... I loved it here..

I've got Jr High School Excitement , and I'm going home...

Over the Rhine - Born

when I watch tv late at night, I sometimes hear the saddest songs.. and sometimes I love sad songs

daydreaming

I just wanted to know what it would’ve been like to have you in my life forever…to not have to say good bye and to have you next to me, for always. I wanted to know what it would have been like if you were mine…

Sitting on the front porch

Years from now, when we're sitting on the front porch; we're going to be talking about the times that we remember most. You'll say my laugh is what you heard first, and like everyone else you'll say I was and I am sunshine. I'll tell you that you were the only one I let touch my face. We'll sit quietly not talking about all the time we wasted not saying all the things we were too afraid to say, we still won't say those things....

mozella can't stop

Sometimes I push away those I want to keep close, just to see if they’ll stay, because I want them to stay. Sometimes people just want to know that you are willing to fight for them, that far past everything else in the world, you want to be a part of them as much as they want to be a part of you. That  they believe in  you, and they are every bit worthy of you and what you have to offer, because to them, you have EVERYTHING to offer. Some people walk away, but walk away slowly because they want you to ask them  not to  go. Some people run so that you’ll chase them, and some people just keep you at arm’s length so they have you at a safe distance. A distance where  fear is the wall and pain is the road block. We are all judgers and will judge each other based on what someone else has done to us… to protect ourselves from future pain, future hurt, repeat sorrow? Sometimes the walls we put up to keep pain out, keep out joy. The guards we have to defend our hearts  from sorrow keep out the love that wants to come in. 

What does Love Cost

Being in Love is NOT free... it cost so much, more than you ever thought you had to give, and it doesn't give refunds, or exchanges, and each new purchase you make, causes you to spend a little more.

Hello...hello..over here

You see right through me, not into me knowing me. You see right through me, straight through me,right past me. You see right through me,cause I'm invisible to everyone. I'm invisible to Everyone, including you.

You don't know me either

 like them....

You don't know me either.

Right One, Wrong Time

Do you ever meet someone, I don't know, someone comes into your life and the moment they enter it, you wonder, where you were before, what was it that kept you from meeting earlier? Where were they, where were you when you should've started? Or seriously, this is the "right time”, this time was when it was all to happen, why not sooner? I feel like I missed out on so much, and it hurts so much. Like this card my parents gave me once for my birthday that said that there was a hole in their heart, a piece missing from their family they didn’t know was there until I filled it.  I feel so cheated. Time is not a good friend. What would have it been like if time could have been nicer to us, if paths came crossed at the earlier points. Did I not look up in a class at school? Did you pass me at a party and forgot to take a second look? 

“The Right one  at the Wrong time” that’s who I am….

When you think of me; I'm everything you know you wanted, I'm everything you've always needed. I'm that girl & you know it.

Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher

Losing someone to death is the easiest goodbye, you only have to say it once, saying it everyday scars the heart  with every intake of breath.


The heart wasn't made to take on that kind of hurt, the kind of hurt where scars are opened everyday with thoughts of what might have been revisited...

you can miss something that was never your's. you can miss something you never had, but wanted. you can miss it so much you feel it in the heartache.
it's a real pain, that causes real tears, and leaves you with an ache like a missing body part that should be there, but isn't. all that from something that wasn't even your's.

The Wonder Years - Kevin and Winnie Clip Reel

What becomes of the broken hearted? Happiness is just an illusion....

Who you are vs. Everyone Else

Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote: No man, for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true..

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting”

In high school, on pep squad, there was  this chant, " Let's Go.... Let's Fight... Let's Win...Let's Go, Let's Fight, Let's Win Tonight."

So much of our time is spent trying to fit in with what everyone wants of us, who they want us to be, what they want us to do. I use to think that only girls have the problem of losing themselves in order to fit, but I have come to find out that all of us at some time , try to fit in the puzzle  that is someone else's game. We shave away the pieces of ourselves in order to fit in, and be noticed ( Square peg, round hole) losing our authentic selves in an effort to be pleasing.. I know first hand what that can do to someone, and how awful it is to look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you. It's a long road back to who you really are, if you go long enough  being someone you're not.

This is in addition to the previous post from an hour or so ago... I'm doing a lot of pondering today... so this is what I can share. 

xoxo

ps.
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”

Choices We Make

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up…..

not every one is the same

"the hardest thing in the world is having a good man, after you've had a bad one."

I didn't say it

do you ever wish you could go back in time and say what you wanted to say, at the very moment you should've said it? I'm not talking about some snippy comeback, or sharp reply.. I just mean.. well, I don't think anything is every going to be as sad as missing the opportunity to say something at the one time it should have been heard by others... what the heck is wrong with me I never speak up..

Plastic Beauty Queens

I Feel

He said, " Safe, when I'm with you, I feel safe...and at home."

What a wonderful feeling to have, when you feel that...

Isaac Russell - Lighthouse

I Love my friend Isaac...

What in the Future ?

Harry Potter is not real ( Although a really great series that I've read several times as well as seen EVERY movie, even the one with spiders) There is NO SUCH THING as magic... but today I wish there was. Today I  wish Divination  was real and I could pull out the old crystal ball and see what's in store for me. Was I always this IMPATIENT, good gosh... I'm standing still and inside screaming like Jane and Michael in Mary Poppins, " CAN WE GO, CAN WE GO"Can I JUST GO.. I have so much I want, I think that is where the problem lies.. wanting too much and not grateful enough for where I am at and what I have.. People can get lost in the wanting..but I also want to KNOW, I NEED TO KNOW.. I need a peek like a little kid covering their eyes and looking through the spaces in between their fingers... I want to see what I'm not allowed to.. 

 I'm so anxious I can't stand myself. I think I may be having a week.. I wish I knew..I just want to know what's in store...I mean... I just want a peek.. I'm the girl that if you've already seen the movie, I'll beg you to tell me the ending.. but I'll still want to see for myself... If you've read the book, tell me how it ends, but I'll still stay up reading every page. I need to know what to expect, should I brace myself for a bumpy ride, should I stretch out my arms and feel the wind on my faceand enjoy the moment because I'll want it to last forever?

Heaven Help me...

....choosing

"sometimes you just have to choose to have faith, even though it's hard..."

If You REALLY Knew Me

So, I read my friend Kaycee's blog and she had a post about this show on MTV called, " If You Really Knew Me".. oh good grief. I took the challenge and watched it and bawled my eyes the whole time. I wonder if they had had this when I was younger if I would be different, or healthier. It hit a little too close to home, and even now when I want to go on and on about what I wish people knew about me.. I don't dare say it... any of it. I think Kaycee is rad though, we are SO different and I bet we're alot a like.

If you Really knew me.. you'd know that I am a fortress.... some say I can't keep a secret, but the truth is that I have lots, and most of them are about me and the things I'll never tell...

Sometimes I wish I was little again..when nothing mattered and there were no hard choices.. when things were simple and I was more free..

I was the one,

who would always

jump in first

Didn't think twice

to look behind

Got such a good feeling,

just from playing

in the dirt

Once,

when I was little

We could build a rocket,

fly to the moon

Leave Tuesday morning,

and be back for noon

There wasn't nothing,

nothing that we couldn't do

Once, when I was little umm

Once, when I was little

Yeah I could dream more then

Yeah I believed more then

That the world

could only get better

Yeah I was free more then

I could pretend more then

That this life could

only show me good times

Once, when I was little

umm ohh lalala

There was a time

when I trusted everyone

Yes I did

There was no place

that I would not go oh no

Spend a day on the hillside

next to the holly mo

Oh once, when I was little

Yea once, when I, I was little

Yeah I could dream more then

Yeah I believe more then

That this world

could only get better

Yeah I was free more then

I could pretend more then

That this life could

only show me good times

Once, when I was little

Used to feel so strong

Even when they tell me,

tell me I was wrong

That I can't live

in a magic world

Cause it's time

for me to grow up

That I got to be

like the rest of them

When I know

there acting up ohh

I could believe more

then yes I could

I could pretend more then

That this life could

only get better

I could believe more

then yes I could

I could pretend more then

That this world could

only show me good times

Once, when I was little

When I was little

So here comes the next one,

the next in line

Stay as young you can,

for the longest time

Cause those days flew by

Like a breeze

just passing through

Once, when I was little

I Freaking need a piece of candy!

I just had a break down.. my computer wasn't working right, I feel like I haven't done a ding dang thing.. I lost it, and cried in Becky's office.. She told me I needed a piece of candy... I gave up sugar and soda.. I cheated the other day here at work, and had a migraine all weekend long when I gave it up again.. CRAP.. I will not have the candy.. I'll just have a breakdown every now and then til this part is over.. Please bear with me... 

what a dream

I want a place all of my own. I want a place that is mine so I can put up artsy pictures and lovely paintings. I want to decorate all over and I want my place to scream, " SOMEONE WONDERFUL LIVES HERE" I want to sit on my couch and have deep meaningful conversations with my friends, or just shoot the bull over cold raspberry lemon aid with sprigs of mint. 

I want to move on

I want pretty music playing in the background of my life. I want to wake up in an over sized bed with the sun shinning in on me. 

This one time, I saw this movie....

There is a car in a ditch and oil is leaking and the engine is hot... He goes to be with her while he waits for help. He holds her hand. She can't see him. There is dust and dirt in her eyes, and she's crying, and the gash on her her head is bleeding, so he let's her know that it's okay." Just keep your eyes closed. I'm going to stay right here and tell you everything that is going on. You'll be okay"
" I'm scared," She says.
" Don't think about that, you're going to be okay. Hey....25 years from now, if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?
" My anniversary party." She sighs
" Who's at this party?"
" My kids, boys... Sam, and Charlie"
" What's the best thing about being married for 25 years?"
She smiles through the pain and strongly, turned upside down in the car that is leaking oil on a hot engine she says, " My husband. They say for better or worse, but with us.. it just gets better and better. He's my best friend. What about you?"
He wipes away some of the blood on her forehead, " my wife, after 25 years. I still can't get her off my mind. She's everything to me."

Dang it I really need to stop watching LifeTime Television for Women... it perpetuates my unrealistic views of relationships.... Good Grief! Bless my heart

God it's Me...remember me

Dear Heavenly Father,

Are ya there, It’s me, Michelle I just have a couple of questions regarding my life. I know that there are no refunds or exchanges, and I’m not asking for any changes in policy. I think that maybe I forgot to read the fine print. I mean, SERIOUSLY, this is what I signed up for? I mean don’t get me  wrong;  with all that I’ve experienced in my life.. I’m sitting really pretty right now. I mean,  I’m a part of an AMAZING family that loves me unconditionally and in no means ever makes me feel that I am anything but theirs, and oh my gosh, you’ve given me the most wonderful of friends that anyone can ask for ( please remove the crazies from my life if you can, I mean, they aren’t really my friends anyways)  I have a pretty decent job and most of my days are filled with laughter ( I contribute that to the laugh bank that I keep in my head with the funny stories I hear), but Heavenly Father, it saddens me to tell ya this, but this morning I woke up with the worse feeling.  With everything that you’ve blessed me with, I woke up this morning with the most  intense feeling of wanting. It was so intense that it hurt and I wanted to cry. Not like cry like I did at season 4 of or 2 for that matter of Grey’s Anatomy , but like really cry, like when your heart is missing something or someone so bad all you can do is cry, kind of cry.

What I’m trying to say is that I feel like my life is on pause in a way. Like someone hit the pause button when I have so much more left to do and experience . My mind is in forward motion, everything else around me seems to be moving ahead, but me, my body and my life are just standing still. I want to GO GO GO, and nothing is going on. What’s that about Heavenly Father, who hit the pause button? Was it hit by accident? Or is this it? Is this the life I signed up for, is this all I get? I feel like so much more should happen before it’s all done, and time is running out. Hmmm, could ya let me know somehow some way or another, what I should look for.. I mean, I know you don’t want to give  me a date, or a time frame or anything, but a sense of peace that , that there is more to come; that would do just fine.  Yes please, that will do just fine… Just saying

Love Me

I'm totally Random

“Sometimes we waste our words and we waste our moments, and we don’t take the time to say what’s in our hearts when we have the chance… and with that ; in the end, what we regret are the chances we never  took. “

Please Bless my walls come down and not another moment is wasted..not  another one.

 I still jump in a puddle after a good rain fall

I still eat push pops on a summer day when it’s so hot I can’t stand it

My favorite color is still pink

 I still swing on swings and look for four leaf clovers

I love the way sand feels between my toes and how the ocean feels in the middle of the night when no one is around, because it does feel different.

I dance around when no one is watching, and even if they are, I don’t mind

I love the way music moves me to write or dance, but most importantly it reminds me to feel.

I get so wrapped up in the feeling of love that when I have it, that I want to have that feeling forever … I’ll hold on for dear life to love

I enjoy the sound of quiet

I love clean laundry fresh from the dryer

I don’t mind the idea of being a stay at home mom… I look forward to just being home with kids and keeping house

I want a craft room in my dream house so I can have a room to sew and paint in

And I want a library filled with books that I use to read when I was little ,that I can one day read to my own kids, like “ Adventures of  the  Box Car Children” ,“Ramona Quimby age 8”  and “ A Tale of Two Cities”

 I saw a colt get born once and then I wanted to live on a ranch

I kinda like the smell of farms and ranches

I like to spin around in chairs that swivel like a three year old

I want to make the most of every moment because I know how quickly times flies and I know what the regret  of not enjoying life feels like and I never want to look back and say,

“ I could’ve, I should’ve, I would’ve , but I didn’t…”

My Birthday was Tuesday!

I was born on Aug. 3rd.. My Birth dad said it was the greatest day of his life. I doubt a lot of things.. I have so many questions, but there is one thing that I hold dearest to my heart, and that is how much my daddy loves me. I won't pretend that we didn't have rocky times over the years. I was a brat growing up.. attention seeking, reckless and sometimes well.. it doesn't matter. He loved me through it all. And he was no picnic either. He was strict, quiet, heavy handed and intimidating, but no matter what he always told me how much I was wanted and loved. He brushed my hair and got me ready for school. He picked me from practices, he missed me when I went away to camp, he prayed for me when times were hard...
He told me often the story of when I was born and said, " Like God knew Jacob in the old testament before he was born, I knew you. I asked for you like Abraham and Sarah begged for Isaac. I begged for you. "
( Daddy is REALLY religious and French, so he told me LONG speeches, that I never appreciated until he stopped giving them to me)

I don't think there is a greater love than that of a father for his baby girl.

A good day

Right now at this moment, I can’t imagine being any happier.. I want to feel like this forever.. Dear Lord, don’t let anything mess this up. My cup runneth over… Yes, right now… this is what happiness is and I want to keep it with me.

Family....it's always about time....

I’m really lucky, no blessed to have the family that I have right now. I have a wonderful relationship with my birth father and that will always be the case. I just wanted to take this moment to say how grateful I am for my adopted family. I love them so much, and for all the love they have given me, and support they have bestowed upon me… I can’t imagine who I would be without them. I just love them all… my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents…. They are part of my world. It’s a nice feeling … love of a family. 

Come here for a minute

Come here for a minute, well it might take longer than that, but come here.

I want to tell you something. I want to tell you every truth I’ve ever known about me. Every truth and every lie, all the things that I’ve never told anyone before; I want to tell you.

I want to show you something. The scar on my elbow and I'll tell how I got it, the one on my shoulder that no one's seen before.  I want to show you the cut that I got on my heart that someone else put there when they left me behind.  I want to show you the person I am who not many people have had the chance to meet. Hold my hand, hold me close; listen to everything I have to say, look at me, see me and stay right here… Right here …right here next to me when I’m done sharing and stay…

OneRepublic - Secrets

there are no such things as secrets, it's just something that we tell ourselves to help us think that the little things we think we are hiding will be hide. Secrets are our comfort, they are part of the disguise that we cloak ourselves in. Pretending that something isn't what it is, and something else is.... a secret is just a lie we tell ourselves when we rather have a lie than the truth.

secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone...

Sometimes.....

Sometimes…..

Sometimes I give more than I get

I smile when I want to cry

I listen and nod when I want to say, “You’re full of  *crap”

Say please and thank you when someone doesn’t deserve the courtesy

Laugh, even though what I think was said, wasn’t funny at all…

I’m nice to people who were mean to me

I love people who don’t love me

Compliment people who’ve insulted me

Sometimes I fake it

Sometimes I’m fake

Don't know much ( with lyrics ) - Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville.

another one

okay.. so I haven't been the best at keeping at this blog.. remember that one time I promised to write everyday for the rest of the year? yeah, I'm sorry about that. nevertheless... I'm going to be better.. I need something to keep me busy.. and what could be a better way, than TWO BLOGS?!?! That's right, I'm going to have another blog.. a funny one.. well, sometimes it will be funny..
You see, I send these random texts to my friends, and they're called " Dear Body" and well, one day, we were like, " Oh, Michelle, this should be a book..." and I was like, " Oh my goodness, I'd make MILLIONS!! " and then I thought, oh hmmm... a blog would be better. I've been so lazy at blogging ( Sorry Charlotte, but at least I admitted it) that I forgot everything about blogging.. So my wonderful sister is going to help me with the banner and the background.. Anyways, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up.. Coming to your pc in the next few days.. " Dear Body"  I hope you'll love it!

State Farm Car Insurance... I don't like you right now.. not one bit

Dear State Farm in Orem UT, the Bob Clark Office,

State Farm came HIGHLY recommend to me by friends in North Carolina, and in fact I’ve used State Farm in North Carolina before and loved them, which is why I chose you guys again as I have since decided to purchase a new car and wanted to have different insurance. Apparently, there in the Great State of North Carolina customer service is provided and I’ve learned that here in Utah, you guys must not care at all; or, maybe you could just give a rats behind.
I called you guys a few weeks ago for the paper work I would need to have proof of insurance in my car, that was the same time as I paid my bill. You guys verified the address with me on the phone, which is the same address where my bill comes promptly to my mailbox, but still I have no proof of insurance. I called you guys on Saturday and left a message, this morning you called me and said that you sent the paper work to an address **** N *** E, um, that is NOT my address, and yet the lovely lady, Doreen who called me back claims that, that address is the one that you have on file for me. Um, what you should’ve done was tell the truth. The lady on the phone said she would mail and email it to me, and then dismissed me. I would’ve been fine with an apology and an, “ We’ll make sure that gets mailed out today.” I am not happy with being dismissed!
No I’m sorry; I’M NOT A HAPPY CUSTOMER. I called back and left a message for Grant to call me back. Now Grant you were so eager beaver to get my money, but you didn’t feel it was appropriate to make sure that the person that gives y’all money for her insurance was a satisfied customer. All you had to do, was remedy the situation, apologize for YOUR mistake, and by doing so remove the distain that I now feel for State Farm insurance in UTAH COUNTY, ( as North Carolina, you’re still okay in my book.) What you said was, well, I’ll email you one, is there anything else I can do? And when I said, No, I’m just not happy with the service that I was given, you said. “Okay Bye” and hung up the phone!
Now with internet an every growing source of information and social networking sites the way that they are in the year 2010, do you really think that it was a good idea to treat a new customer the way you did. Now I’ve been told to find a new insurance company to go with… and I’ve thought about it these past few hours as I am still a bit hot about the way you chose to dismiss my concerns.
I don’t have the most costly of insurance with you guys… I was testing you out, do I really want to spend a lot of money on an insurance company that fails to send me the paper work I need. I mean SERIOUSLY, what if I was to need a claim filed? Would I get the same treatment as I have with something so small as proof of insurance papers? State Farm in Utah County. YOU FAILED!!
I believe in customer service, I believe in treating people fairly. I am not pleased with you guys at all. Your customer service in all fairness SUCKS.

Sincerely,
Michelle L.
Utah

I don't know about your god Pat Robertson... but my God is awesome

I don't normally watch the news.. I don't claim to be one who's in on the what's going ons in the world... I'm like Alan Jackson in that since. But I can be lead to feel strongly about things, and when I do.. I'm in it full force.. I don't go around talking about my religion, or how devout I am. I take a softer approach and hopefully live a life in which people want to ask me what I believe...
I'm Christian.. I believe in Jesus, and God, and I believe in Humanity, and Love, and being kind to people, and not judging people who don't believe the way I do, or live the way I do.. and I'm southern.. and if you piss me off, I'll probably hold a grudge for a really long time, which isn't very God like of me, but Jesus saves... so I'm good when I say.. Pat Robertson.. what you said about Haitians deserving the Earthquake that nearly destroyed their homeland that they love makes you an awful and rude who says that stuff like that?.. you make Christians and Republicans look bad.. but thank heavens I know some of both those groups who are NOTHING like you... ( as if he's reading this.. I'm on a rant) and then to hear Rush said some of the similar.. well, Rush has always been wrong in my book anyways... IDIOTS.

Well... anyways, I claim the southern part of me more than the Haitian part of me, but I am Haitian, and for my birth dad who still has family there, loved ones there.. I felt deeply... and will pray for until things are well again in their country, and in their hearts..

and Keith Olberman is a much better speaker than I am.. and I will say, that I don't agree with EVERYTHING he says or appears to stand for, but for this..I'll give him a hell yeah, and a clap...


by the way, I feel strongly that my God is an awesome God.. he loves everyone and thinks of everyone...when we hurt, he hurts, and when we pray, he listens.. and when we stand need in of comfort, he comforts us.. there are over 6 billion people on this planet.. and My God watches ALL of us...and most of the time, when he answers our prayers, it's through someone that he sends directly to us to see us through..He smart.. and Forgiving....

So Pat and Rush, my God forgave you for what y'all said, but I still think ya'll are ________

oh my..the social security office.....

I had to go to the social security office to get paper work for my new job ( that's right I got a new job FINALLY, more on that later), but I lost my card and had to get a replacement...I needed one anyways since I got a new last name (thanks new family).... someone told me to get there right when it opens.. I didn't listen.. I got there at 9:45am rather than at 9am...
I wish I could blog from my phone, but since I can't .. I just texted my friends Becky and Merrianne my morning there....

Text 1
Me: CRAP, the Social Security office is PACKED!!!
Becky: Boo
Merrianne: is the line Crazy long
Me: My number is A155

I watch as the man is falling asleep and his kids are giggling about it.. his daughter keeps poking him when he seems to be really asleep.. his son takes a different approach and throws his jacket at him which smacks him square in the face! His wife see the whole thing and does NOTHING!!

A man limps away from one of the open windows where he was being "helped" and says loudly for everyone to hear.. " WELL THAT WAS A BIG WASTE OF MY TIME!!! BEEN HERE OVER AN HOUR FOR TWO MINUTES OF NOT A BIT OF HELP!! "

Um...he waited for over an hour.. crap..

Number 37... Number 37

SWEAR WORD, my number is A155!!!!!!

oh finally, a chair to sit in....

There is a lady who's nosey asking everyone why they are here today..

I've been sitting for I think 15 minutes now..

the man with the bratty kids fell asleep and I guess his daughter stopped poking him awake, because he missed his number being called...

SS worker: I'm sorry, we called that number, and you didn't come.. where you here? You'll have to get a new number

Man: I didn't hear you call my number, and the number you are on has surpassed the number that I have .

(Who uses surpassed in this situation)

SS worker: YOU NEED TO GET A NEW NUMBER AND WAIT FOR IT TO BE CALLED.

ouch

NUMBER A129

*sigh*

This lady walks in and despite the hat she is wearing, her EARS ARE HUGE.. oh, and let me not forget to mention that this woman is NOT wearing a bra to hold up her breast that are probably bigger than mine were before my reduction procedure.. GOOD GOSH WOMAN!!! Did her two daughters that she came with not mention that maybe a bra would be a good thing to not forget when out in public...

There is an Arab man that apparently works with just the Arabs, because when he goes to his window, the two Arab gentleman sitting behind me, get up and he immediately helps them, and then leave..

um, how long were they here?


Number 43.... Number A140

Number A 140 apparently has been using the wrong name her whole life, because it's suppose to be one name, but on her card it says a different name..even her momma thought she as Debbie.. nope.. she's Deborah the SS worker tells her....


Text 3? Where has the time gone?
Me: A meth head chick just walked in... she keeps twitching and scratching her head.. she gets helped RIGHT away!

Merriane: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA WOW

Text 4:
Me: Why the hell does this kid keep yelling ," MOM, Mom, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOM, MOMMY, MOM, MOM, MOM ( insert SCREAMING NOW topped with CRYING) MOM MOM MOMMY MOM.." this kid sat so quietly the whole time they were waiting, and NOW, he PICKS NOW to need something!!!! UGH

NUMBER A155

Me: Praise the Lord, they called my number!!!!

time spent at the window.... 5 minutes
time spent waiting...2 HOURS

note to self...keep your card in a safe place, that you can remember!