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Sometimes I dance around the living room with one hand waving free...

"With all its shame, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world…Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

— Max Ehrmann

Friday, October 17, 2008

Sorry to Keep you waiting

I want to rename my blog, letters to the Crazy Lady... it's kinda sad when I think about it, but my life is so boring right now...and the highlights are all the things that I want to say to her but won't because deep down I'm not as mean as I say I am...even if I did yell at these two kids last night who were pretending to be crippled that I hoped that they got hit by a bus, because it's wrong to fake being in a wheel chair when there are people who really have to be in in one....
I mean maybe I could write about my crazy ex who just recently started calling me and texting me again, but I reminded him that even though I have little to rate him against, he WAS the worst kisser I ever had to kiss and there is no need for him to continue calling me...but then, he might come across my blog and be offended and I wouldn't want to hurt the fragile male ego right....
so hmmm...

Dear Crazy Lady,
Seriously..you do laundry EVERY DANG DAY...that's suppose to be for both our apartments.. What, I'm suppose to ask you if I can wash a few loads? No, I don't think I want to do that...what, do you only have one outfit, do you HAVE to do wash everyday..think about the water you are wasting for a minute....does your dang dog pee on stuff? Why the heck are you doing laundry EVERY FREAKING DAY? AND a better question is, why the Heck do you start doing wash at 6 am..for the love of Pete..calm down!!!

Oh and Dear Crazy Lady,

Stop being mean to the nice old man next door. He's SPECIAL, like SPECIAL, and YOU of all people have the gall to call him crazy? HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR?! He's a sweet old man who plays red light green light with the little kids across the street...he likes the green otter pops in the summer and he calls me kido.. He's sweet..and kind and has the mental capacity of a nine year old ... You are a day pass crazy and have the nerve to be mean to him... Well, I have his back and I just won't stand for it.. I don't like you or your ugly dog.... by the way, if your dog continues to howl for hours on end... I might have to suggest you get it's voice box removed...

Have a great day

Side note to Barb and Charlotte, my favorite sisiter in law and my favorite cousin:
now that we're an eternal family...you're stuck with my meanness....I hope that y'all are okay with that.. I love you both so much!!!

** crazy lady doesn't REALLY look like that...but I might post a picture of her ugly dog that is barking RIGHT NOW !! I HATE THAT DOG


Charlotte said...

Hahahahahaha seriously...when I lived with April and Alicia our 3rd roommate (i don't remember her name--i'm so mean) had the voiceless dog. Now, I'm going to tell you, a voiceless dog CAN wake you up in the middle of the night. If you don't believe me, ask Alicia. I swear it's true. I miss you. I don't think you're mean. Hateful maybe? NO! Haha jk! come back down to dixie man, i know you miss it!

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

Girlfriend...you crack me up! I am SO glad you posted something today. I ALMOST took you off my google reader TODAY because I was like she hasn't posted anything in SO long she isn't going to now.
LOL...BOY am I glad I didn't!
Your ex about kissing is HYSTERICAL! LOL
I love your sense of humor and I know your eternal family loves you to pieces!
Hugs and love from NC! I misses you!

Krissy said...

LOLOLOL ... Seriously, How I LOVE you Michelle... and since, I'm connected to Charlotte AND you AND the Lepinski's, does that mean I can be an extended part of the family? :)

Sam said...

I think there is something more sinister going on with this whole laundry thing. It doesn't make sense to do laundry every day, so maybe she's kidnapping people, mutilating them, then washing their clothes. Think about it.

deanna said...

there is a dog next to mormon church here in Plzen that barks like mad at us as we leave the church on Friday night after playing rough games of Skipbo. The word for spider is pavouk and hotdog is parek. I suggested someone mistakenly put pavouk poison in a parek and feed it to him. Does that make me a bad person?

Babs said...

I think Charlotte and I both actually really like your mean streak. It's pretty entertaining!!

By the way, I tagged you on my blog :) Can't wait to read your response...

becky said...

i think you need to MOVE (to SLC)


Elise and Chad Ashby said...

Hey Michelle! I found your blog from Facebook and I can tell it's going to be one of my favorites to read. I hope you're doing so good. I still miss working with you!

the best christmas present ever!

the best christmas present ever!


There is no use trying, said Alice; one can't believe impossible things. I dare say you haven't had much practice, said the Queen. When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I am the queen and this is my year, and nothing, NOTHING is impossible

the family dog....so spoiled...but look at his face!

the family dog....so spoiled...but look at his face!