I want this look

It makes a sound, your heart does...

When you’re quiet enough, lost in the day dreaming of missed opportunities, you hear things. When all is quiet and you have a moment to think with regret the things you wished you would’ve done, should’ve done, could’ve done... when you think of all that might have been and you think with longing for the things that you thought would happen, but instead that you are still waiting for…in that moment when all is quiet and you're thinking  on  the memories and dreams…when it’s that quiet, you can hear the sound your heart makes when it breaks. 

Amie Miriello Hey

I let you touch my face

And memories are coming back to me today, as I sit and write about you. There is so much I think about when I remember you; like how I've always hated  it when my face was touched, but I remember your hands on my face, and how I didn’t pull away. I remember my hand in yours and how your fingers fit around mine. I remember your smile and the way your whole face lit up when you talked of flying and music and what it was like to have moments when the voices stopped and you could just be happy. We loved the quiet moments and missed them, the fewer they got.

 I write about you twice a year. On your birthday and every year around this time, because it's Christmas time, and you loved mistletoe and kissing….and I sit as the memories come flooding back, and have to smile at what was. It’s only at these times when I think about all that was good that I am not sad about the time we missed out on, about all the memories that we didn’t have.

You wanted to fly, and you wanted to play music. I wanted to watch all your dreams come true. I wanted to be there when they came true for you.

I don’t like my face being touched, but I never minded it when you held my face in your hands… I’m remembering so much today, as I sit and write about you… you are some of my best memories…

Jr High Excitement

 It is like when I was in middle school. Every Fall, every summer, the night before going to camp with my youth group, I couldn't sleep. I waited to the last minute to pack every time, and I stayed up all night and thought about what that weekend or what that would week would mean to me.. All the excitement boiling up in me would not let me sleep. I'd "over pack" and not even  be the slightest bit tired in the morning when it time to take off, only  when my youth leader turned on Enya, and we started out on our way cuddled up with our friends in my church's 15 passenger vans did I shut my eyes and relax and take a nap before I experienced the time that I've been waiting for.
I'm going home  for the first time in like 11 years. I'm going to visit my friends, see my birth dad and breath in the North Carolina air, and maybe play in the rain, but I'm going home, and I couldn't be more excited. It's the middle of the night, the butt crack of morning, and the sun is going to rise, and I haven't slept.. I'm packed and so ready.. and the excitement is boiling up inside. I'm anxious and over whelmed. This is the house I grew up in , I loved here, I loved it because of my friends... I loved it here..

I've got Jr High School Excitement , and I'm going home...

Over the Rhine - Born

when I watch tv late at night, I sometimes hear the saddest songs.. and sometimes I love sad songs

daydreaming

I just wanted to know what it would’ve been like to have you in my life forever…to not have to say good bye and to have you next to me, for always. I wanted to know what it would have been like if you were mine…