I'm totally Random

“Sometimes we waste our words and we waste our moments, and we don’t take the time to say what’s in our hearts when we have the chance… and with that ; in the end, what we regret are the chances we never  took. “

Please Bless my walls come down and not another moment is wasted..not  another one.

 I still jump in a puddle after a good rain fall

I still eat push pops on a summer day when it’s so hot I can’t stand it

My favorite color is still pink

 I still swing on swings and look for four leaf clovers

I love the way sand feels between my toes and how the ocean feels in the middle of the night when no one is around, because it does feel different.

I dance around when no one is watching, and even if they are, I don’t mind

I love the way music moves me to write or dance, but most importantly it reminds me to feel.

I get so wrapped up in the feeling of love that when I have it, that I want to have that feeling forever … I’ll hold on for dear life to love

I enjoy the sound of quiet

I love clean laundry fresh from the dryer

I don’t mind the idea of being a stay at home mom… I look forward to just being home with kids and keeping house

I want a craft room in my dream house so I can have a room to sew and paint in

And I want a library filled with books that I use to read when I was little ,that I can one day read to my own kids, like “ Adventures of  the  Box Car Children” ,“Ramona Quimby age 8”  and “ A Tale of Two Cities”

 I saw a colt get born once and then I wanted to live on a ranch

I kinda like the smell of farms and ranches

I like to spin around in chairs that swivel like a three year old

I want to make the most of every moment because I know how quickly times flies and I know what the regret  of not enjoying life feels like and I never want to look back and say,

“ I could’ve, I should’ve, I would’ve , but I didn’t…”

My Birthday was Tuesday!

I was born on Aug. 3rd.. My Birth dad said it was the greatest day of his life. I doubt a lot of things.. I have so many questions, but there is one thing that I hold dearest to my heart, and that is how much my daddy loves me. I won't pretend that we didn't have rocky times over the years. I was a brat growing up.. attention seeking, reckless and sometimes well.. it doesn't matter. He loved me through it all. And he was no picnic either. He was strict, quiet, heavy handed and intimidating, but no matter what he always told me how much I was wanted and loved. He brushed my hair and got me ready for school. He picked me from practices, he missed me when I went away to camp, he prayed for me when times were hard...
He told me often the story of when I was born and said, " Like God knew Jacob in the old testament before he was born, I knew you. I asked for you like Abraham and Sarah begged for Isaac. I begged for you. "
( Daddy is REALLY religious and French, so he told me LONG speeches, that I never appreciated until he stopped giving them to me)

I don't think there is a greater love than that of a father for his baby girl.

A good day

Right now at this moment, I can’t imagine being any happier.. I want to feel like this forever.. Dear Lord, don’t let anything mess this up. My cup runneth over… Yes, right now… this is what happiness is and I want to keep it with me.

Family....it's always about time....

I’m really lucky, no blessed to have the family that I have right now. I have a wonderful relationship with my birth father and that will always be the case. I just wanted to take this moment to say how grateful I am for my adopted family. I love them so much, and for all the love they have given me, and support they have bestowed upon me… I can’t imagine who I would be without them. I just love them all… my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents…. They are part of my world. It’s a nice feeling … love of a family. 

Come here for a minute

Come here for a minute, well it might take longer than that, but come here.

I want to tell you something. I want to tell you every truth I’ve ever known about me. Every truth and every lie, all the things that I’ve never told anyone before; I want to tell you.

I want to show you something. The scar on my elbow and I'll tell how I got it, the one on my shoulder that no one's seen before.  I want to show you the cut that I got on my heart that someone else put there when they left me behind.  I want to show you the person I am who not many people have had the chance to meet. Hold my hand, hold me close; listen to everything I have to say, look at me, see me and stay right here… Right here …right here next to me when I’m done sharing and stay…

OneRepublic - Secrets

there are no such things as secrets, it's just something that we tell ourselves to help us think that the little things we think we are hiding will be hide. Secrets are our comfort, they are part of the disguise that we cloak ourselves in. Pretending that something isn't what it is, and something else is.... a secret is just a lie we tell ourselves when we rather have a lie than the truth.

secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone...

Sometimes.....

Sometimes…..

Sometimes I give more than I get

I smile when I want to cry

I listen and nod when I want to say, “You’re full of  *crap”

Say please and thank you when someone doesn’t deserve the courtesy

Laugh, even though what I think was said, wasn’t funny at all…

I’m nice to people who were mean to me

I love people who don’t love me

Compliment people who’ve insulted me

Sometimes I fake it

Sometimes I’m fake